The Problem with Calgon

CalgonWho out there remembers Calgon? Apparently, they still make this stuff and if you’re old enough to remember the commercials (and I am!), then those advertisements promoting Calgon are pretty hard to forget. I mean, who else can recall the infamous slogan that accompanied those solicitations of old, and went a little something like this:

“Calgon, Take me away.”

Now as a kid, I didn’t get it. As a mom? I definitely do.

Boom! Just like that, Calgon was able to erase the memories of a chaotic day spent in the trenches of motherhood. One bath later and that overworked, frazzled mama who’d been drug down by the weariness of her day, was able to rid herself of her problems. Those issues with the kids from earlier? Wiped away. The visions of the dog tracking mud throughout the house and all over the carpet? Gone. The screaming and fighting that can’t help but ensue when siblings are in close proximity for a tad too long? Vanished.

This stuff was like a miracle-in-a-bottle it seemed.

So, it was only natural after becoming a mom and dealing with all of these problems (and more)  that I would enlist the help of you guessed it–Calgon. Surely those little beads of serenity would ensure that the chaos corrupting my life would be resolved…in a matter of minutes, right? However, what the advertising department failed to mention long ago (and what I found out the hard way), was that in order to reap the benefits of a product like this, you must struggle with all of these issues first:

1. Finding the time to actually indulge in a bath (of all things) is almost non-existent.

2. Thanks to those cute kiddos of mine, my bathtub is almost never clean. Rather than use their own restrooms, they seek refuge in mine instead. I’m popular, what can I say? Let me rephrase that: my bathtub is popular. Enough said.

3. Due to point #2, all bath toys (inclusive of but not limited to: cars, trains, Barbie’s and the likes), must be removed prior to.

4. If I do locate the time to indulge in a soak, chances are, one of my children will find me out and in fact, want to join me. It’s a given.

5. Once the first child has found me, the rest will follow. A party in the bathtub was not what I was seeking in the first place.

6. And once the “party” is underway, there’s no doubt that the Calgon bottle I purchased for myself, will be used up and poured out in a matter of minutes. There went $5.00…and my sanity.

6. And who could forget the dog? The same one who muddied up the floors with his paws, is now wondering how he can fit in the tub as well.

As for Calgon, it looks as though I’ll leave that stuff in the store and maybe save that relaxing bath for another time…like when I’m out of town. Or 50.

How about you, mamas? When’s the last time you had a nice, relaxing bath (all by your lonesome)? And in what ways do you manage to detox from your days?

Tagged: Calgon, Jenny Lee Sulpizio, Managing Stress, Mom on a Mission, Motherhood & Mayhem, The Problem with Calgon

  • Edith Pont LMFT

    Well… can’t remember the last time I had a bubble bath. Calgon does sound good – at least in theory :)
    I do like the slogan “take me away” – I’m talented in that I’ve learned to get away mentally, specially when my 22 month old has tantrum after tantrum. This post made me laugh – thanks for sharing.

    • Jenny Lee Sulpizio

      So glad. Calgon sounds AMAZING in theory, right? ‘)

  • Jennifer Rumberger

    I can’t remember the last time either. My tub is generally not clean to my standards (boys) and finding the time is hard. I’d rather just go to bed! :) I do remember the commercials, though!

    • Jenny Lee Sulpizio

      Agreed! ;)

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